Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Apocalypse Takes a Holiday?

Summer is coming! In New England, we will soon be out of the gloom and rain and chill of winter and early spring! Sunshine and later afternoon summer storms will reign. And the day trips, weekend holidays, and honest to goodness vacations will start.

From National Geographic
When planning a trip - be it across the state, country, or globe - you should take steps to insure your safety. The apocalypse won't give a monkey's banana that you are taking a few days off; it will happen or not according to its own whim.

Speaking of monkeys, do you think the sentient Spider Monkeys of Central America will hold off on taking their revenge against primates who have thumbs? Do you really expect that they will see you holding a cocktail - with your four fingers and thumb - and not attack? Gods help you if that drink is fruity!

On vacation or holiday, or whatever it's called in your piece of the world, take a few steps to survive if The Unthinkable happens.

Step 1: Research Your Destination
Chances are good that you will know where you are going, but how much you know about it before you get there could save your life. For example, where are the bad areas? Find out and avoid them. Have scientists in the area ever genetically engineered one specie of bug to Control the Population of another? Did the experiment have the unfortunate side effect that the genetically engineered bugs became joined at the butt and reproduced en mass? You may want to avoid that area and its scientists. However, be sure to check your facts. Sometimes stories about mad scientists are just that, stories.

Step 2: Know the Surrounding Area
Before you leave for your vacation, check out a map of the area. Looking at the terrain in a 2D format won't be as informative as taking a little stroll or two when you get there, but it will help you get to know a few of the landmarks. Several online resources can help you in this respect. I personally use Google Maps, but Bing also offers a map utility. Heck, Mapquest is nothing but maps! Use whatever you are most comfortable with and take account of the local geography. (Take particular note of any nearby cemeteries, tombs, crypts, or research centers.)

Step 3: Remember Your Supplies
Because you are going out of town, you will be bringing clothes and supplies with you. Take a little extra space to pack some of your Go-Bag essentials. Since you are already bringing items like clothes and shoes and medication, just add a little extra. However, for your safety and convenience, be sure to follow TSA guidelines.

Step 4: Keep to Your Routine (Somewhat)
Okay, yes. I know. You've gone away to get away from your routine. You packed it into a small box, tied it with twine, and hid it in the back of the closet to await your return.While on vacation it's a dirty little secret you'd rather not admit to (like a few other things buried in your closet).

Despicable as they sometimes seem, routines are important. How do you stay in shape once you've gotten into shape? Routine. What are all those little things you do every night before bed? Routines. How do you keep from getting trapped under a pile of steaming boulders that fall out of space? Luck. I can't really claim that one is due to a routine. Although...if you routinely do not find yourself trapped under a pile of steaming boulders, I guess it counts.

Break away from your normal life, but take some of it with you. If you go for a run in the morning, do it while you are on vacation. If you lift weights in the evening, do that. To keep up some tasks, you will have to get creative. For example, I don't know about you, but I don't pack weights when I go on vacation. I do, however, drink water and go to the beach. Why not take a couple of empty water bottles to the beach and fill them with sand? Instant weights!

Step 5: Keep Thinking
While planning your time away, think about how you will spend it and what you will need to have fun without falling prey to angry sentient Spider Monkeys. Or Land Sharks. Or Fuzzy Bunnies of Doom.

How will you enjoy the glorious weather ahead without falling prey to giant diseased fleas from outer space? Tell us in the comments!

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  1. Thanks for the tips - al of them are useful no matter in which part of the world one goes on holiday...