Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Post-Apocalyptic Dating Game!

Congratulations! You have beaten the odds and managed to make it to the "post" part of post-apocalyptic. Unfortunately, like most of the planet, your chosen mate has become less post and more past. Take some time to mourn, stay away from implements of self-destruction, and come to grips with your new status as a Single Survivor.

Not to rush you, but time is not exactly an abundant commodity. I hope you have come to grips with being single again because we need to get you back out there and dating! (BTW: if your ex is now a zombie, you cannot simply change your relationship status to “it’s complicated.” That's dangerous, dumb, and cheating.)

From Chris McVillain on
Post-apocalyptic dating is surprisingly similar to pre-apocalyptic dating. You need to
  • meet potential mates;
  • learn about each other;
  • find out if you are compatible;
  • come to a mutual arrangement about sex and partners (presumably you will have sex; this is really about the number of partners each of you can have);
  • and learn to live together.
Before living Hell broke loose, to meet people you went to bars, church socials, school, work, the library, support groups, bookstores, coffee shops, Comic-Con, or dating web sites. Or all of the above. Meeting people in this burnt out world is less complicated and labor intensive: you will search each other out. Your hearts will call to each other like beacons on a foggy and turbulent sea...

Sorry, that was a poetic simile to help lift your depressed spirits a little. (I hope it worked. I'd hug you if we knew how The Disease transmits itself.) Dating is easier, but that's more or less because as you run and fight for your lives you and your future lovers will have to call on common instincts which will lead you to similar actions and places.

Learning about each other and finding out if you are compatible with one another is, like before, a trial by fire. You spend time together, you talk, you have sex, you fight side-by-side and if you still like each others' company after a couple of months, you might be a good match. Your relationship will be forged in a much hotter fire than any you experienced before so things will progress very quickly. If there was ever a time for jumping head long into something, this is it.

From Inept Guard
Like I said before, you have to come to a mutual agreement about sex and the number of partners each of you can have. Monogamy has its pros and cons. So does polygamy. You and your new lover can debate them. However, bear in mind that there is far less chance of potential lovers fighting to the death for your affections if you choose monogamy. That's right: monogamy totally rules out a naked and bloody Battle Royale.

If you have managed to make it through all the previous obstacles, there is no real reason you two (or four or however many) would not be able to live together. Personal space is still important. No one wants the human equivalent of cling wrap as her lover. Spacious real estate in a safe neighborhood is even more difficult to find since The Plague began, but do your best. The adage "familiarity breeds contempt" can be terribly and awfully true.

How will you find a new mate in the new post-apocalyptic dating landscape? Let us know in the comments!

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  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. I haven't tried on the internet dating games but yes supper with someone you don't know can get distressing from the second you sit down, excellent publish liked studying it.