Thursday, October 27, 2011

Neutrals? You're kidding, right?

With the cold weather coming with its whipping, freezing rains, this is probably a good time to discuss proper autumn clothing.

Every year as the temperature drops and anthropomorphized seasonal forces take up arms against us humans some poor schlep dies because she didn’t know how to dress. Dressing well for the weather is one of the easiest survival skills a girl can learn. And, she can look totally cute doing it.

That Rainy Pre-Winter In New England at least, the difference between fall and winter is less a matter of temperature and more a matter of consistency.

Yes, winter is colder, but it is also consistently cold. Autumn is a fickle bitch who likes to play games. Sometimes she’s hot and steamy and makes you want to take all your clothes off. Sometimes she is so cold and blustery she makes you yearn for almost any other season. Some days the temperature reaches the high seventies or low eighties only to plummet into the fifties or even the forties that evening. And I’m talking Fahrenheit here: water freezes at thirty-two degrees.

Occasionally we get gorgeous seventies days followed by snow storms. Like I said: the weather here is a fickle bitch.

Dressing for a normal day with this kind of weather change is difficult. So what’s a girl to do? Wear pants. Skirts are great and comfy and all, but they have a breeze issue. During the day they might be fine for the temperature, but at night they will be woefully inadequate.

Structure the clothes in your Go-Bag with as much variety as possible without over-loading the bag. Pack pants, closed shoes (preferably hiking sneakers or boots), light shirts, sweaters, and jackets. Don’t forget to pack pair of gloves just in case. Variety gives you the option of layering clothes when the sun and its heat disappear over the horizon.

About the sneakers and boots: warm ones are not always the cutest, so be sure that your pants are boot cut and cover much of the shoe. This will help you hide that ugly hiker and it will give your feet a little more protection from the elements.

And for the love of fashion, make sure your clothes match! This isn't just surviving: it's about surviving with style and panache.

Neutrals and earth tones are perfect for fall survival missions. They work well together. There is a huge variety of textures, patterns, and weights. Because fall fashions are generally neutrals, everything matches almost effortlessly. You will of course want to vary your colors; no one wants to look like a pile of dried leaves. And it almost goes without saying that earth tone clothing provides camouflage when hiding in wooded areas.

How else should a girl keep herself safe and warm in the tumultuous autumn months?

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