Get a grip on yourself! Are you really going to let Gran eat your brains (and whatever other fleshy bits get in the way) just because she could always be counted upon to have lint covered mints in her purse? She was your elder. She was your grandmother. Now, she is an ancestor .
|The Granny (1995, WarnerVision Films)|
Respect the woman she was. Waste the monster she has become. Will it be difficult? Yes, of course. After all, she looks the same. She is wearing the outfit she was wearing when she died five minutes ago. Her hair is a mess, but it’s Noona: her hair is always a bit out of place, isn’t it?
No, it always was a bit out of place. The thing you face is not your grandmother.
You need to stop thinking of her in the present tense. I understand the need to grieve and come to grips with your loss. However, you need to understand that if you don’t shift your perspective on Noona real quick you too will be a moaning, shambling meat pile. And that is not a cute look.
Brace yourself. This is going to be difficult. Really difficult. This may take most of your Emotional Reserves.
Take the bitch out. Sorry, but the meat pile formerly known as Noona is now the enemy. Dispatch her as dispassionately as possible.
Your numbers may be few, but your intrepid survivors will try to comfort you (after Noona is no longer a threat). Hold a small and simple sending off service for Gran. Funerals are as much about those left behind as they are about the deceased – perhaps even more so.
What are some other ways to cope with killing your undead grandma? Tell us in the comments!
Follow us @Anypocalypse
Suggest a topic!